CHANGES

Block 1 – Induction (In the bedroom. Eugene is laying on the bed with his legs wide open, he has on hand on his phone, the other inside his briefs. His suitcases are on the floor half-packed into the wardrobe, half on the floor. Rashid is on the phone, he is in a state of nerves he as paces up and down while trying to clear of Eugene’s mess.) Rashid Yes mom, will do mom. I packed it yes... okay, okay bye-bye now. okay, love you too mom. okay, tell him I love him too. okay, Mae al Salama mama. Eugene Damn bruh, you speak Muslim? Rashid No man! It’s called Arabic and not really. Eugene Oh shit! My bad. But you Muslim hey? Rashid Yeah, I’m Rashid (They awkwardly shake hands) Eugene Ayt, I’m Christian Rashid Nice to meet you Christian Eugene No, no. My name is Eugene but I’m a Christian Rashid Oh! hehe, my bad. Now I feel nice and stupid (They laugh) Eugene You can also call me Simba though! (Beat) Rashid Cool… why Simba? What does Simba have to do with – Eugene Cz I’m a fucking lion dawwg! (Beat) (Awkwardly) Rashid Okay (Beat) Eugene Otherwise?? how you living? Rashid Uh, I’m living good... what do you mean? Eugene That’s right! That’s right! I like it when my peoples are living good bruh. (Beat) Rashid Your peoples? Eugene Yeah man my peoples, we’re roomies now so understand that we’re about to become homies. Just like how I’m your roomie, hommie and peoples? You feel me? Rashid I guess so... (Beat) Eugene Wassup bruh? why so shaky, is Ali too strict for that? Rashid Hehe, no man it's fine. And also, its Allah not Ali. Eugene Oh shit, sorry bruh. You’ll just have to bear with me, I’m kinda like a Christian so that’s as far as I know about religion. Rashid It's fine, I really know nothing much about Christianity either but I'm still your peoples bro bro. Eugene Ayt bruh. Appreciate that (Eugene gestures a fist pump) Eugene Is that like, your thing? Rashid What’s my thing? (Looks around) Eugene Bro (Beat) Rashid Yeah? Eugene Ayt “bro” (Confused) Rashid What? Eugene What? Rashid I think you lost me there? Eugene What? (Beat) Shit, okay, so what I was saying is, bro- as in the word BRO, is that like your thing thing? Rashid My thing thing? Eugene Yeah like your swag, is that like your staple grammar thing thing? Rashid Yeah, uh, I guess so. I’ve never really thought about it so... I guess I can make it my thing thing. Eugene Ayt bruh, hehehe, where are you from? where do they call each other bro’s and not bru’s or bra's? Rashid I’m from KZN. I guess now that I think about it we do use it alot. Eugene Ayt, ayt ayt! Durban boy! you swim a lot or what? Rashid Is that your staple thing thing? Eugene What? oh, ayt. Nah Nah, everyone says that around here, it’s like saying yes or okay, feel me Durbzie? Rashid I’m actually not from Durban. I’m from Port Shepstone, it’s in KZN, but it’s a two and a half-hour drive from Durban, sooo… that nickname is actually nooooot, you know - Eugene Ah fuckit! It's Whatever Durbanite! (Eugene puts his arm around him) It really is whatever my friend. It’s all the same shit, I swear to you! Once you’re in KZN, you’re in Durban! Especially if you’re on the coast! Whoo! You’re defs a Durbanite papa! Just like how when you in Pretoria you in Jozi papa! It's all the same shit! You feel me Durbzie duranite lytie?? (Rashid Sighs) Rashid Yeah, I guess so… Block 2 – Lose it. (Enter Eugene pulling his suitcase, Rashid is sitting on his study table, he is busy on the computer.) Eugene Boom! (Throws suitcase on the floor) The fucking Lion is back in town! Rashid (Unimpressed) Eugene. Eugene Don’t act like you didn’t miss me! Come here and gimme some love you mother fucker! (Eugene walks over and gives Rashid a rough bromance hug then sits on Rashid’s Bed) Eugene Ayt, ayt, how’s the babies in there? How many of the bad ones did you touch? (Pause) Rashid I mean, I have a few baby cousins in Durban but like- Eugene No no no!! You sick fuck! take it easy. I’m talking about girlies papa! Bints! Babies, isistokho what yall call ‘em there in Durban?? Rashid Astaghfilallah! I knew I had to be wrong about what I thought I just heard sheesh! Eugene Nah nah, get with it bruh. I was talking about girlies, lil babies, betties and merries bruh. now tell me how those bikini bottoms taste? Rashid Uh, good question. But I’m sure they’re good. I mean, uh… I don’t know many but- Eugene But how many have you touched thou?? (Doubtfully) Rashid Touched how? (Sarcastically) Eugene Uhh, I don’t know. Maybe suck some face. Uh, get some head? Standard things! (Awkwardly) Rashid Hahaha you’re crazy man. Eugene What do you mean? you no slip two in the stinky, one in the pinkie type guy? Rashid I don’t even wanna know what that means but I highly doubt it! Eugene I’m serious bruh, how many of those ninja dresses have you crawled under and raged like a little hormone monster? Rashid Hehehe, like sex and stuff? (Beat) Eugene Uhhh? yes! Rashid I’m not into that kinda stuff yet, plus I’m Muslim So we’re not allowed to, you know… (Rashid makes a sex gesture with his fingers) … before Marriage Eugene Blah blah blah! no sex before marriage bullshit! I’m sure Jesus was fucking like a little rabbit while on his holiday here, and at bible school! Even Ali Mohamed or whatever. They’re also men, you think they were just praying and wanking the whole time? (Pause) Rashid WOW! (Beat) … defiantly was not expecting that! (Beat) Eugene Sorry dude! I’ve got a case of thee uh, rotten tongue syndrome! Still Christian though, (Raises a crucifix sign with his fingers) Don’t get it twisted. Rashid sure... (Beat) (In a high-pitched teasing voice) Eugene Wait a minute! wait a minute! So this means that you’re a little pure untouched virgin! (Teases him, tickles him close to his crotch area) Rashid Stop that! Eugene Chill bru! I’m just fucking around! Rashid Dammit man. That’s not cool, don’t touch my private parts! (Beat) And it’s only because I’m Muslim, I’m sure Many girls want some of this- Eugene Some of this Rashie Virgin dick! hahahahaha! Rashie is a virgin! Rashies is a virgin! hahahaha! (Rashid looks at him disappointed and rolls his eyes) Yo, we need to get you some bums like yesterday already. I can’t be a first year and have a roommate that’s a first year and a virgin! No no no! That’s like minus a million points. I’m not virgin ma bra, well at least I don’t give that sort of energy out but, you know… I’m not a virgin per se but we neeee- Rashid Bro its really okay, I need to save myself for-Eugene blah blah blah! there’s that nonsense word! “save save save” dude we’re young! we’re in varsity, there is an abundance of vagina in your face! This part of your life will never come again at this tender age! Besides, it's not like you have a hyphen that can break if they do a virginity test?? Rashid Hymen. Eugene Yeah yeah hymen hyphen! Same shit. Have you not heard of the term yolo ma bruh? huh? A little bit of carpe diem? You ever think of introducing a little bit of anarchy in your life my friend?? Rashid People talk bro, my parents might find out somehow. Anyways I’m way more religious than you so it's just different. Eugene Duuude! I’m Christian too but honestly, That’s all a load of bullshit! Your rents won’t Find out man, you’re in Jozi! just cover your tracks properly. See I beeeeeen smoking, you know what I’m sayin. Since grade 5, no, I’m lyin, 4. Yeah that’s it, since grade 4, so you do yourself a favour and trust me when I say, it’s the sides of you that you choose to show the world that they will ever know about. (Beat) Rashid Point taken. Eugene And stop with all this God talk bru! I used to be religious then so many nonsense things happened and I asked myself where is this mystical all-seeing all healing God that is suppose to save me when I need saving huh? Dude my parents were married under Gods laws or whatever, they were merries in a church so you get what I'm saying, anyways! Where was God when they God divorced? Suuuurely he could have just pressed the rewind button and fixed all their problems but where was he?? Nowhere to be seen ma bruu! My point again, religion is overrated! Just do what you want and the rest will sort itself out bru. Rashid Deep (Beat) But my God is different so- Eugene Bruuuuuuuuuuuhh! Tell me you wouldn’t you like to stick your little uncircumcised dick in some vagina glazed in vagina juice? Mmm? Hows that instead of jerking off the rest of your varsity life? Rashid Wow! You really just… the things that come out of your mouth, how do you even think of such? Eugene But am I wrong though? I speak allll the nasty little things that we think as men bru! You just gotta embrace that shit! (Beat) You ever eat Bacon? Rashid Yes, but I was young and didn’t- Eugene Uh-huh! See you’ve already crossed the line bruh. You’re fucked for life, I’m not Muslim but I know all Gods don’t like sins, they're all dicks like that. once you sin it's over for you bro! No more heaven with 72 virgins for you Mr. Chasidy belt! Just make sure you apologise through prayer quick before you die and hopefully it's chilled. Rashid Wow! Eugene I’m serious man! you’ve already tasted bacon, might as well taste some pussy too! (Beat) (Rashid is shocked) Come on! let’s get that little hoddie penis in between one leg and another! Rashid My dick is not little! Eugene Chill bro, I’m fuckin with you! Rashid And how do you know I’m… you know? Eugene I heard Indians aren’t into that dick slicing shit! (He raises his phone, takes a deep breath and assumes a stance that suggests a presidential speech) The power of the internet ma bruh! You know what shit looks like before you actually see it! That’s how I thought myself to have sex before I practiced on a real vagina, you’know what I’m sayin. I’m a lil big on lesbian porn! a lil big on African porn, I like that ebony shit! I like me some of that fuckin nasty Latina Mexican porn! (Licks his lips!) Shiiiii! I’ll send you some crazy links. (Beat) But yeah my Friend, that’s how I found out about your ahh, little secrete! The power of the internet! Everything you want at your fingertips. (Beat) What tickles your pickle my friend? Rashid I don’t watch porn so that’s not even-

(In ore) Eugene Shut the front fucking door! (Beat) What?? How do you jerk off? In fact, I don’t even wanna know! do you even jerk off? O M fucking G! Your wetie must be dripping on your toenails by the time morning comes! Rashid A wetie? Eugene You don't know what a wetie is? You gotta be shitting me! it’s a wet dream!? like when you ejaculate in your sleep? (To himself) Oh shit we gotta get this nigga to a doctor asap! Shit! How the fuck can a young nigga from the coast of KZN not know what the f- Rashid Oh! man! You need to work on your lingo I’ve had those before. Yea, not a pretty sight. Eugene Get dressed noooww! Lets hit the club and get you laid! Rashid But I don’t even drink! Eugene Bruuuh! you’ve eaten bacon before. I know deep down inside you want pussy juice dripping from your Mohamed beard so I’m sure you won’t die if you drink some tequila. Or Wine at least! Jesus drank wine so it should be chilled. Its nature's juice! it's good for you. let's go! Let's go! Lets goo!! Come get up! Lets goo! Rashid Okay okay! Jeez! (Opens his wardrobe and looks for clothes to wear) I really don’t have a good feeling about this! If I die!! I’m going to be so angry at you Eugene That’s the spirit my friend! Come step into my office for the night my friend! Allow me to show you the ropes around here! I was born and raised here, we can do whatever, whenever, however. Now hurry so we can get that lil dick of yours in a pussy pouch! ***Blackout*** Block 3 – Where’d the Gods Go? (Enter Eugene pulling his suitcases while on the phone. Rashid is laying down on his bed texting on his phone.) Eugene Yebo ma. Ngiyabonga ma, and also- (Eugene looks at his phone, confused) Hello? ma? (beat) Mxm! doesn’t even say goodbye! (Beat) Ayyy! is that a box of gwaai I see there? Rashid I wish that was my mom, that lady can say goodbye for ten years straight! Eugene Bruh my mom has no time! She is forever on the move and shit! Also but why you denying my questions bru, is that gwaai there? Rashid You’re lucky. My mom sits and waits for every chance she gets to call me! (Eugene takes the box of cigarettes and looks at them) Eugene Shiit! you smoking for real now huh! Well, Welcome good sir! (beat) Otherwise? how were the holidays man! shit I’m so exhausted! (Beat) Ay did you get your dick glazed? huh? A bit of head here and there?? (Beat) Shiii, Lemme tell you about my holidays! I didn’t get my dick glazed and that but I did get a milf from Tiiinndeerr! You know what milf stands for right?? Mother I’d like to fuuucck! You should get that app nooowww ma bra! This nasty Latina looking milf was talking all kinds of crazy shit like she will school me and shit, talking about how she got years of experience on her and she about to get me accustomed to that mature pussy! Shiiiitt! She from some little city on the coast! Ohh shiit! I can't wait to get me some of that exotic mature pussy! Ahhh shiit! Then she gonna get her some of this young funky dick! Awwww shhiiit! I’ ma ask her if she got friends so I can pimp out your lil dick too and we’ll be milf fucking buddies n shit, aww shiit!! Rashid My dad died. (Beat) EUGENE Aww shiiiiiiii… (Beat) I'm so sorry bruh, ish, ah.. shit. What happened? RASHID It's fine. Car accident, by himself. At least. So, your holidays? EUGENE Was ayt bruh. Went to Mozam. RASHID Sounds like fun. You wanna smoke? Eugene Sure bru, can I get one of these gwaai’s here? RASHID Pot? do you want to smoke pot? EUGENE Since when you smoke weed? RASHID Do you wanna smoke or not? (Pause) Eugene I do nigga, shit. Hold on, where the weed though? (Rashid rolls a joint, they sit in silence. Rashid comes to sit next to Eugene’s Bed on the floor. Rashid lights it) (Beat) EUGENE When you start smoking weed bru?

Rashid Last week. Eugene Oh ayt ayt. (Beat) And gwaai?? Rashid Last week. (Beat) Eugene Is that when the thing happened? RASHID What thing? EUGENE Your father. RASHID Oh no, that happened a week before that. EUGENE Oh, ayt ayt ayt. RASHID Yeah (Pause) Eugene, do you believe in God? EUGENE I mean, I’m a Christian so yeah. RASHID What you mean? Do you believe that there is someone out there looking over us protecting and guiding the directions our lives will take? EUGENE I mean, yeah I believe that there has to be a God. RASHID But how does he protect the entire earth when people get hurt every day. EUGENE I don't know man, sometimes you win some, sometimes you... don’t! you know? RASHID People die every day, I wonder what the Gods are up to when they allow that to happen EUGENE I don't know bruh, ask God and them. I’m sure they probably still protecting us. RASHID Rubbish! Where was God and Allah ad them when my dad was driving home? (PAUSE) EUGENE I don't know bruh, maybe it was just his time? Or maybe they were on lunch RASHID This shit is so unfair, like who decides who comes and who goes and when? EUGENE I don't know bruh, Mohamed? (His temper rises) RASHID It's ALLAH! (Beat) For fuck sakes Simba! Eugene Take easy bro, I’m just tryna lighten- RASHID Take it fucking easy! Relax bro, chill out and bust a nut, always fucking chilled isn’t it Eugene? EUGENE Chill bro (Rashied gets up and starts emptying out his wardrobe) RASHID Chill bro! everything must just always be fucking chilled with you Eugene! huh? lets all smoke a gwaai and relax! what the fu- EUGENE Seriously chill out bro! you freaking me the fuck out! RASHID ohh no! don’t freakout! You don’t freak out! You just keep it chilled the whole time right? Ain’t that right Mr bitches? EUGENE you really need to calm down bro. I know it’s been tough with your family and all but just like, I don’t know. Stay strong. In your faith also, let’s do some prayers bruh. I know this whole thing sucks but- RASHID but like what BRUH? Must I fucking pray to God, oh no, to Allah and ask him politely; oh hey Allah, can I please have my dad back, you just took him but I need him back real quick? (Beat) Tell me Mr bitches! Howw?? EUGENE I’m so sorry man. I know all this really sucks but like just- RASHID Just what Eugene? Must I pray to that same fucking God that took him? is that how it works? Do I just go to mosk with a receipt and say hey, hi, excuse me, my dad was taken to heaven yesterday but like, hey, I need him back because like, oopsi, I’m still a kid! Is that how it works BRUH? EUGENE Bro- RASHID Don't bro me! tell me is that how it works?? (Rashid gets onto his knees as if he were praying and gets breaks out in tears, Eugine gets down next to him and puts his hand over his shoulder) EUGENE Yo man- RASHID Don't pity me BRO! I’m a man. I can handle my own weight! Tell me is that how it works? Because this religion thing is suppose to work right? Is that how it works?? EUGENE It's going to be okay bro RASHID Does it work like shopping, place an order and wait twenty four hours for delivery? Huh? Cz it feels like I’m going to wait forever here man! EUGENE I’m sorry that it had- (He breaks into a panic attack and starts crying while trying to talk)

RASHID Fuck your sorry! And your pity! Fuck you man! Fuck this life thing! (Eugene fully embraces him with a hug) RASHID Fuck you man! This is bullshit! EUGENE It's going to be okay bro! RASHID Leave me the fuck alone! Just leave me the fuck alone! (Eugene hugs him even tighter as Rashid cry gets heavier) EUGENE Is going to be okay bro! RASHID Fuck sakes! (Rashid embraces Eugene back with the hug and continues wailing.) BLOCK 4 – Break up day (Enter Rashid, Eugene stands up to greet him with great enthusiasm) EUGENE Ay! whats up you mother- RASHID My mother is behind- (Enter Rashids’ Mother) Never mind, mother this is my roommate Eugene, Eugene this is my mother. EUGENE Uh, ah… Good afternoon mam, it's a pleasure to finally meet you in the flesh. Rashid has told me lots about you. SAFA Hello my boy, Rashi has told me lots about you too. How’re you holding up with that accounting, this one keeps failing? RASHID Mom! I told you he is doing very well. EUGENE Uhm, very well indeed mam. It's most defiantly always good, yes. RASHID Yeah right. SAFA Thank you very much my boy, just keep helping rashies here, he is going through lots as you know. EUGENE Most definitely, anytime every time is always a good time mam. RASHID Okay, let me walk you out then we can pack and settle in. SAFA No, No. it's Okay my boy, let me help you boys out. I see packing and unpacking is not a strong point for you boys. EUGENE Oh no, its okay mam. You just caught me at a horrible time looking for my charger and floss. this is most definitely not how we live. SAFA And? Did you boys find it? Eugene Not yet mam but we certainly will sooner that – SAFA Well, I'm sure you won't find anything in this mess! It's fine, let me spring clean for my two favorite boys and I will be gone in no time! Eugene I think as much as I would love to spend more quality time with you Mrs. Aunt Safa, I think maybe next time when I’m not here is best for all of us because you know, you are- RASHID Its really okay mom. We’re moving out! Not in, so let's just leave it as dirty as we found it! SAFA No Rushies, people are going to have to clean up after you and that’s not how me and your father raised you alright? Simba? Would your parents allow you to leave this place in such horrible conditions? Eugene Of course not Mrs. Govender! Rashid Don’t call him Simba mom! He’s going to think that your friends! SAFA Don’t be rude to him Rashid! (In a jokey manner) For all you know me and Simba over here are best friends! (Simba blushes behind Rashid) RASHID Ha. Ha. very funny mom. Please can you just take the pots to the car so you can stay there! We’ll bring the bed and the rest of the stuff. SAFA Rushies, you know I’m not taking no for an answer. Look at this, its filthy this place. I need to clean this, Eugie? you allow this savage living? EUGENE I can most definitely assure you, Mam just caught us on a bad day. This isn’t our lifestyle choice.’ SAFA Stop calling me mam, you my son also so you can call me mom, or mommy or whatever you like okay? RASHID Mom, you can’t actually clean now in any case because we have to go to dinner just now, time is against us. SAFA Don't worry about food! I’ll buy you boys some nice food at Andichos afterwards. I know you probably hate the food as much as Rushies here, I’ve heard all the complaints about dry the dry chicken n all. Also, it’s the last day so I can order Simba here some food after we clean and leave! Rashid (Rolling his eyes) Moooommm!! Why do you have to be so difficult! EUGENE Excuse me brother Rashies, Did you not hear that counter offer your lovely, kind, generous and beautiful mother just placed? Andichos bruh? SAFA What else you want Simba? This one doesn’t want no food, I know you like Rocco mammas, must I bring it and come when we finish here or must I do that uber Mr delivery thing? EUGENE Look at God hey, these are blessings from above. Rushies have you not been sold yet? (Pause) I’ll speak on his behalf, we would love that, mam. Excuse me, Mother, no pardon me, Mommy! We would really love that mother, in fact, anything is good, whatever mother's soul desires to feed us is okay with me. (Pause) Only of course if brother Rashies here agrees? (Turns towards Rashid, Rashid turn to his mother) RASHID Mom. Why are you doing this to me? EUGENE Chill out bruh, I mean, relax, just take it easy Mr! Mother over here is simply trying to show us some love and affection plus, she wants to spend quality time with her sons, what's so wrong with that? SAFA I like this Simba fellow, I can tell he is a small bit naughty I’m an old magogo so I can tell, but I like this fellow, why you never brought him home with you during the June holidays one time, this boys family is too busy for quality time eh, you can tell this child here just needs some love and affection through some quality time with a real family you see? RASHID His name is Eugene mom! And he only wants to hang with you because he doesn’t have to send “quality” time with you this whoooole December and January. (Beat) EUGINE (Under his breath) I don’t about know thaaat… Rashid What? Eugene I’m just saying, you know, I mean, Ja. Your mother is being very kind to us right now and you’re being rude so- RASHID Oh shut up Eugene! You just want- SAFA Don’t be so rude to your friend Rushies! Eugene Yeah Rushies don’t be so rude to your friend! Rashid Momm! Just take the pots! EUGENE Relax bru, that your moms. SAFA I’m just trying to help son. EUGENE Yeah, she is just trying to help. Rashid Mom, please (Pause) EUGENE She is literally trying to help bro. SAFA Its okay Eugie, rather I leave now before we all carry on hurting each other's feelings here. EUGENE Look what you’ve done now Rashid Eugene. (Beat) EUGENE Okay then, I guess this is where I bid you farewell mother. Safe departures and travels to your destination. SAFA Lovely meeting you for the first time son. See you soon. (Eugene and Safa share an intimate hug) RASHID Okay okay mom. Let’s keep it moving. SAFA Okay okay, I'm leaving. Goodbye Eugie, before I get physically removed by the big security bouncer guy standing here in front of us. (Safa and Rashid walk out and return instantly) SAFA I nearly forgot to pray for you boys! come let me pray for you children! I want you to remain safe and come back next year even better friends having freshened up from the holiday eh. (beat) Eugie, you a believer? RASHID MOM. I told you, he’s a Christian EUGENE Christian indeed mother. SAFA That’s okay, I can just pray to God. If there is a God he is probably one God so it's fine. Come let's hold hands, shut your eyes. (Beat) come come Rashies, shut your eyes. (Beat) You boys are welcome to join also okay? okay. (She gets into prayer position) O Allah, you are our companion on the road and the one who’s care we leave our families with. O Allah, I seek refuse in you from this journeys hardships and the wicked sights in store and from finding our property and family in misfortune when we return. Amin. Rashid Amin. EUGENE Amen to that mother! I feel the blessings from within. Rashid Come let's go, Eugene, Simba, please pack up my bedding so we can take the bed next. SAFA Okay Grumpypants! Eugene, may safety accompany you my child. Eugene Thank you mommy. It will. (They walk to the car but stand right outside the door. Eugene quickly realises they're right outside the door and puts his ear flat on the door as to eavesdrop) SAFA Rashid, I know it’s been tough the last couple months but the attitude. Please my boy, your father's passing doesn't give you an excuse to be rude to me or anyone. We do not need another temper like your fathers okay? (Beat) You heard me? Rashid Ok. SAFA I’m your one and only mother! You better be- Rashid -No one said you’re not. (PAUSE) SAFA You know, I really don’t have the time or energy to argue with you over nothing! You not the only one going through it! You acting like a brat and I don’t know where it came from! I tried to help both you and your friend today and this is how you thank me? (BEAT) You better count your blessings my boy! Children are starving out there and you can't even accept a random act of kindness from your mother? Just now you’ll walk to KZN with all this clothes and stuff my boy watch it! RASHID Ask God and Allah to feed them. SAFA Do you want to walk to Portsheptson? Rashid Maybe I should, get some fresh air and that. SAFA Okay that’s where I draw the line Rashid! You’ll see your own way to Durban! I don’t know what has gotten into you! You little unappreciative son- (Safa takes a heavy breath in and out, she walks offstage towards her car. She starts ranting to herself and her voice gets softer and softer as she disappears from the stage.) Safa Okay, just breath. Take it easy, this children don’t know what's actually going on. Back in my day, We would never dream of talking to our parents like that, but what do I get, a bastard little demon child who just wants to just indulge in haram only! and the nerve be so rude to his only mum in this world, I dunno, this is too much. (Enter Rashid back in the room, he bumps Eugene’s head with the door as he tries to enter.) Rashid What the fuck! (Eugene, defensively) EUGENE What the fuck was all that?? RASHID All what? EUGENE You told your mom I study accounting? Rashid Yeah. Eugene What the fuck for? RASHID It's a long story, you won’t understand EUGENE What do you mean bruh? is my BA not good enough? RASHID Something like that. Eugene Wow. RASHID I told you you won't understand. EUGENE Why not tell her I’m Muslim also, one time! RASHID I’m really not in the mood bro. Backup. EUGENE O-oooh, is the bad bacon-eating Muslim getting angry or what? Rashid Fuck off. EUGENE Oh Shit! even swearing, whats next? you going to bomb me in my sleep or what? (PAUSE) EUGENE Ayt ayt, my bad. I might have taken it a bit too far on the last one there. RASHID Only a bit hey? EUGENE Chill out bruh, you know I’m only fucking with you wanker! RASHID I wonder that rotten tongue went when my mom was here. (Beat) Actually!! What the fuck was THAT about? EUGENE What the fuck was what the fuck about? RASHID That nonsense posh English you spoke to my mom? EUGENE Well you said I do accounting sooo... Rashid Soo?? EUGENE I was fitting the description okay! leave me alone, I panicked. RASHID You sounded stupid! EUGENE You just hatting man, I killed that accent. I should go be an Oscar nominee one time! RASHID Please don’t Insult the profession like that! EUGENE Whatever hater! otherwise? Holidays? You got some bums lined up? Or will you just be with your mommy the whole time? RASHID It won’t be that kind of holiday. EUGENE What do you mean? Listen Rashies! Every day is a good day to bust a nut! RASHID You know my dad just died right? EUGENE Even more reason to de-stress! Rashid Really? EUGENE You know I’m fucking around right? Just tryna cheer you up bro bro. RASHID Jah jah, I don't think even the return of your Jesus would put any emotion on my face right now. EUGENE And the return of Allah? RASHID Fuck off! EUGENE What?? no ways! when did you give up religion? RASHID When religion gave up on me. (Silence) EUGENE Deep bruh Rashid Yeah. (PAUSE) EUGENE Sooooo, bacon egg and cheeseburgers? Rashid Why the fuck not? EUGENE Helz yeah! Shiiit! (Beat) I’m still trying to take this all in, you and I are about to eat bacon and drink beer! That's Wild! And you’re going to be hitting on all kinds of woman! shiiit! Defiantly getting laid tonight! RASHID We’re young, we’re educated and single! what girl wouldn't want some of us? EUGENE Bruh, I bet all that Marxism and all the other ism’s that we studied turned you off religion, right? Dude that shit showed me the light! RASHID Not really. I mean, some parts of it, yes, but it was mainly my choice. Eugene Mommy wouldn’t be too impressed with that… Rashid Bro, Stop calling my mom mommy, its creepy. Eugene She said I can call her that. Rashid When did she say that? Eugene Right in front of you! Dude, your mom is amazing! I don’t know why you were so rude to her. The lady was just tryna help bru. Rashid Shut up already! Bru If I didn’t know any better I'd say you're in love with my mother the way you're carrying on like a little girl. Eugene Never that bu, that’s just crazy you know what I mean. Imagine that! Dude, you’re stupid. That’s just stupid dawg, imagine! Me! Being in love with Mrs Govender! Shiiit! That’s wild you know what I mean. Shiit, even for me bru, that’s just too wild you get me? Rashid O M fucking G! You’re in love with my mother! You piece of shit! How the fuck could you fall so quickly in infatuation after two minutes of meeting my mom? You’re actually the fucking worst! Did you imagine my mom naked here, while I was with you in the fukin room? Eugene No ways my bru, that’s not me. Listen bra, your moms a beautiful hot attractive old woman, but never that you know what I mean? Never me. Falling in love with her or imagining her naked you know what I mean. I restect all woman, including, especially your moms you know what I mean bru? Rashid You're even more twisted than I thought! Shit. (Beat) Wait, I wanted to ask you earlier. Do you stalk my mom on Facebook? Eugene Nah, nah nah! Why would you even ask that shit bru, that's crazy to even think you know what I mean. Like damn son, your momma? Nah that’s twisted. Rashid You know I know when you’re lying right? Now I’m going to ask you one more time, as a friend. I know we don't go way back but sharing a room with you for a whole year must at least mean something even in your world, have you been stalking my mom on social media? Eugene Yo, why you trippin. I mean, I might have checked her profile out once or twice on facebook and twitter you know, but uh, I was just tryna find out your surname you know. We had been in the same room for almost a whole year and I didn't even know your surname you know what I mean, so I had to. Rashid Dude my mom used her maiden surname for social media so her in-laws don’t find her, that’s beside the point though. I’m just tryna figure out why you're still lying to me, it's a bit creepy but it's okay I guess… its not like you’d ever send my mom on of your filthy Direct messages or something so as fucked up as it is it's kinda okay. Eugene You already know I didn't even send her a friend request, you know what I mean, Like I would never send Mrs. Govender any messages on any social media hook up sight or anything you know what I mean? (Rashid interrogates) Rashid Oh my shit. You messaged my mom? What the fuck did you do that for? Were you tryna fuck my mom through facebook? Eugene Nah nah, bro, I ain't even send her a message or nothing. I mean I sent a friend request and I did nothing after that you know what I mean? I swear to you bruv. I swear on my dead granny bro. (Beat) Rashid Did she respond? Eugene Yo, I ain't even message her you get me, I just sent a friend request and that, then next thing- Rashid Then next thing what? What the fuck did your vulgar fuckin mouth have to say to my mom on SOCIAL MEDIA!? (Stuttering) Eugene Yo, I ain't have nothing to say to her bru, she messages me first bro, I.. I.. I didn’t even know it was your mother, I swiped right and we matched but Literally I found out that she was your mom the day you know, when you came with her to campus the one time but by then I was too late to do anything cz… cz I didn't even... I had no plans to do all that shit you know- (Calm and furious at once) Rashid What did you match on? Eugene What did we uh, do- Rashid What the fuck did you match on? You told me you swiped right, what the fuck are you trying to say to me right now? (Rashid gets up and starts pacing up and down scratching his head for answers) Eugene Okay.. uh, shit. We just need to relax a bit right now, I think we all need to just turn it down a nudge and just take it back fi- Rashid Is my mom on tinder? Eugene Yo, I don’t think ah, we… I don’t think we are suppose to be the ones having thi- Rashid IS MY FUCKING MOM, ON FUCKING TINDER? Eugene Ah, thing is bro. She isn’t even the one who- Rashid Answer my fuckin Question Eugen! You’re really working my fucking nerves here! Eugene I think you should- Rashid Did you fuck my mom? Eugene Woow!Yo, bro. I think lets take a step back and uhm. You see, bruv. Listen hey, Those are big allegations you know what I mean, uhm. Rashid If you ever want to fucking talk to me ever again, you better fucking tell me now, was or is my fucking mom, your fucking milf! Eugene YO, bro, listen… she messaged me first and at that point, I ain't even know who she was you know. I mean your surname ain't even start with a G, I knew that for sure so I was sure that that isn't your moms you get me, next thing you know. We was chatting and you know how tinder works bro. (Beat) (Rashid's head is covered by his hands and is placed in between his legs. He is starting to tear up and breaths heavily as though he were about to go into a panic attack. He quickly gets up and sprints across the room to Eugene who he gives a full beat down to while crying) Rashid I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I fucking hate you, you mother fucker!! (Rashid continues to beat him till he is bleeding heavily and when it looks like Eugene has no more life in him, Rashid strangles him while crying. Rashid snaps out of it as he realises he is about to kill. He goes and Sits on his bed, he has a blank look on his face and a bloody shirt. Enter Safa, she is shocked) SAFA What in the name of- (Rashid Gets up and stands at the door and points outside.) Rashid Just get in the car and take me fucking home Safa! You’ve caused enough damage today. (Safa realises what’s going on as she sees Eugene’s lifeless body on the ground. She looks at Eugene, then again at Rashid. She takes a deep breath and they both exit leaving Eugene passed out on the ground.) (Blackout) ***The End***